I’m in Thailand and I Have Dengue Fever

I’m in Thailand and I have Dengue Fever

So this sucks. How’d I get so unlucky, you ask? Well, simply put, I didn’t wear enough bug spray and then I deluded myself about the possibility of actually having dengue fever.

But it’s more fun to tell the story, especially looking back now knowing I have it.

I started feeling shitty on Monday evening, about six days ago.

But hey, I’d done three dives on Monday, more than I’d ever done in one day… so OF COURSE I was tired, exhausted, and sore, right? During our night dive, the last one of the day, I got really cold, shivering even underwater and then shaking on the way home on the boat while I disassembled all my gear. All I wanted to do was shower, eat, and fall into bed.

pre-night dive: the last time I felt good for a while

I should’ve known something was up when I couldn’t finish my delicious, perfectly spicy massaman curry that I got for dinner… I just figured I was too tired.

First clue:  When have you EVER been too tired to eat, Rachel?! When? The answer is never.

When I finally got into bed that night, my head hurt like a bitch. But I just thought, “With all the water you lose and the calories you burn while diving, you just didn’t hydrate enough!”

I popped two Tylenol and went to sleep. Around 3:30 AM I woke up from crazy dreams, covered in sweat, my feet freezing. Oh, that’s just probably sunburn right? And all that intense air conditioning that the drunks in the hostel get back and turn on full blast? I’ve gotta get up at 5 AM to dive anyway…

Tuesday morning’s alarm rolls around and I’m not sure if I ever managed to fall back asleep. Ooooh and I’m still kinda/really feeling shitty, that’s weird. I pop two more Tylenol. Gotta finish up this dive course! Really don’t want to put it off! I’ve got a fancy hotel room to check into on the other side of Koh Tao tomorrow! We’ll be done diving by 11 AM today anyway, no problem.

Surprisingly by the time I’m on the boat, I’m feeling pretty good, pounding waters, the scenery is beautiful, and we’re diving to 100 feet today! And I’m going to see a wreck! All of this actually goes really well. (I have no idea how.)

By noon, as I’m waiting for our dive instructor to help us fill out our logbooks and say goodbye, I’m miserable again. I order a lunch that I can only eat half of before I give it to my German classmate. I’m overly annoyed when the instructor has to spell out words for the non-native English speakers. Feeling extraordinarily bitchy, I hold it together and take a very red-faced photo for my certification and then go straight to bed where I writhe in sweat for the rest of the afternoon. I have no idea what is wrong with me, but I am full of sweat. (Please catch my Making a Murderer reference!)

In the evening I feel somewhat better, and am starting to convince myself it must just be all this diving activity that’s got me so worn out. Am I actually feverish or is it just the damn sunburn? Am I even really that sunburned though? (Am I losing it? Of course, I have a fever!)

like this duck soup could’ve been bad.

I go out for my favorite roast duck soup for dinner, but it doesn’t taste good at all compared to the past few mornings I’ve had it (despite all the sugar and the fish sauce that I add). I convince myself it’s because I’ve never gone in the PM before and the broth must just be different; maybe it hasn’t cooked long enough. (Like really, am I crazy?) Then the Thai pancake with Nutella, banana, and peanut butter that I order for dessert tastes like garbage too. I tell myself it’s the nasty looking old peanut butter jar that ruined it. (God, what is wrong with me?)

I sweat through the night, but sleep surprisingly well before packing up. I’m feeling better. Or maybe I’m feeling better because I have my own private room in a hotel to look forward to. My $37/night splurge! I’d planned to see the other side of the island and have a little DIY yoga retreat and detox, maybe with some healthy eating thrown in. Oh, we’re about to detox all right…

I eat a Snickers and do not leave my bed except to grab something for dinner. But I’m so tired and weak I cannot go to the restaurant I’d planned because the fifteen steps ever so slightly uphill is too much for me to handle. (Is this for real?) I have to get something closer. I pick up some yellow rice and chicken and take it back to my hotel room. I almost cry tears of joy when the man asks if I want it “for takeaway” because yes, that is a great idea, I cannot be in public. I eat (you guessed it) just half of it… in bed. It tastes funny. Yeah, I’m not right. Maybe I have the flu?

Thursday is similar. I have to leave breakfast because I get too hot and feel like I might vomit or pass out or both. Somehow, I accomplish all the paperwork stuff I need for my Vietnam visa (let me tell you, the photos are excellent), drop off laundry, and walk to the beach to see what it’s all about (not an easy feat). Every other moment is spent in bed until I decide, “Hey maybe I can eat some tom kha soup for dinner. Chicken, coconut, mushrooms, vegetables, that’ll be good for me if I have the flu.” False. I eat an embarrassingly small amount before I get the vomity-fainty feeling again and have to pay and leave immediately. There were also mosquitoes there making me nervous.

I’m pretty much only safe in an air-conditioned bedroom-type environments at this point. Being hot in addition to having a fever is the devil. Like the end times. And I feel like maybe I’ve had a low-grade fever for several days now. I’m just so used to having it that I can’t tell I have it… maybe?

Nope, didn’t get the mosquito bite on this hike.

The smallest tasks are fucking impossible. The pain behind my eyes makes it hard for me to plug my phone into the wall beside my head.

Everything tastes bad. Not only am I not in the mood or hungry for anything,* but everything tastes gross. Like I have a sick taste in my mouth. Like there’s a fake sugar, saccharin-esque flavor to everything.

*Oddly enough, chocolate candy is still edible. Twix and Snickers were both successfully consumed. Lots of nutritional value there, obviously.

The possible fainting part is the worst. I’ve never fainted before, but now I can say I’ve come close. When expending energy, um, like walking or carrying things, especially in the sun, I feel like I could pass out at any moment. It’s like my ears get tight, things start to get silent, I can’t catch my breath, everything gets really white, and I’m just like “Oh shit, here it is, I’m about to make a scene and fall over dead on the ground in front of all these people. This is going to be way too dramatic. And possibly cause chaos.”

No, no, it never happened, but I definitely had to put my head between my legs multiple times in public, with no warning to the strangers around me. It was ridiculous looking.

After all this, I still didn’t think I had dengue fever despite realizing that I had like ALL of the symptoms… which, by the way, I googled regularly and uncontrollably. Really, at least twice a day I pulled out my phone to do some research. My search history looks a bit like this:

“Dengue symptoms” (about 8 times)

“What does dengue feel like?” (at least 3 times)

“Does dengue make your calves hurt?” (just the 1)

On the symptoms front, it was almost comical. Pain behind the eyes (yes), muscle and joint pain (god yes, my calves and back especially, wrists and ankles too at first), nausea and vomiting (occasionally nausea, but no vomit yet, aha maybe I don’t have it!), swollen glands (yes, that’s worrisome), headache (well, not anymore…), high fever (ummm?), rash or spots on hands and feet (NO! Finally a no! Wait but when I look at myself in the sunlight..?)

That’s what got me. High fever? Like 104 degrees, according to the Internet? The seemingly mandatory symptom. I didn’t know about that one. But I also never even checked my temperature on the very worst days. I was just convinced I wasn’t hurting bad enough for it to be dengue.

So I avoided going to the doctor. Maybe I was secretly afraid they would send me to the hospital. (Okay, I definitely was.)

In short, I’m an idiot. A majorly in denial idiot. But hey, even the doctor thought I had the flu at first. Until my blood work came back. Low white blood cell count. Low platelets (but not low enough to go to the hospital, thank God!). Typical dengue.

And now, as suspected, I have the rash. I’m red in the face, chest, stomach, arms, legs, and palms of my hands. It’s prickly, but not so bad… compared to everything else.

Nice beach at this end of the island – glad I saw it for like 5 minutes before going to nap again

To make this even more amazing, I received a message from my Dutch friend whom I hung out with in Koh Lanta the week before coming to Koh Tao. I put off even opening the message because I’d just gotten the bad news of my diagnosis and was wallowing in it. I should’ve opened it right away because it instantly made me feel better. Misery loves company:

Annamiek:  Whooow Rachel do you have dengue!? I will let me check then when I am home. I felt terrible the last days. But today it was oke. Only have a cold left.

(Trying to timeline this monster of a disease, I asked where she actually got sick.)

Well I left Koh Lanta with a flu and tired. On Koh Lipe everything went fine! And then I moved to Langkawi and there it went worse. First slept with bedbugs so got bitten. Then got a headache, got really hot and tired, pain in muscles. So I decided to go to a clean and fresh hostel in Penang and now I only have the flu and little pain in my head.

So yeah, I probably got the mosquito bite in Koh Lanta while we were hanging out. The incubation period is 4-10 days, so it’s hard to tell, but this is a good clue. And hey, I didn’t even have to deal with any bedbugs!

Turns out I did get that detox I was looking for in a way! I haven’t had any alcohol in a week and I’ve barely eaten anything either. I’ll be turning that around soon. Well, at least the food part.

So don’t worry about me, guys! I’m feeling about 88% better and I’m off to Vietnam! Where I’ll continue to monitor my platelet counts to make sure they’re going up (yes, more blood work) and I’ll be wearing way more bug spray…

Anybody else had dengue? Any consolations for me?