Boracay is Too Much Fun – You Have Been Warned

I wasn’t sure about Boracay.

Yeah it’s beautiful, but would it be too touristy? Too crowded? Too filled with terrible clubby nightlife?

Um yes, yes it would be all of those things. But it would also be SO. MUCH. FUN.

There’s a reason that Boracay was voted #1 of 2016’s “Best Islands in the World.” Its white sand beach is huge and nearly perfect. The sunsets are fantastic. And there’s are tons of eating, drinking, and accommodation options from one end of the beach to the other.

But like most of my other favorite destinations, the crowd of friends that I made in Boracay turned this very beachy portion of my travels into a super memorable week. I’d even see a few of those fools over and over again throughout my month in the Philippines.

I specifically chose Boracay as my first destination in this island nation BECAUSE it was the most touristy. I figured it’d be the easiest place to meet new people to hang out with, and I need all the friends I can get. For real.

The hostel there – Frendz Resort – is possibly one of the most fun places I’ve ever stayed (despite its controversial spelling choices), and I credit it for all my success in the “making new friends” category. It’s also the first place I’ve met a lot of Americans traveling abroad. And between the booze cruise, free sun loungers, happy hours, and pasta night ragers that Frendz threw, we were all set with organized fun. It turned into a week of partying, beaching, and general lazy hangouts that made for an excellent time.

Like, I was genuinely sad to see a lot of these people go. But luckily, some of them I couldn’t seem to shake.

Day 1

My first night at the hostel started with the usual beginning to a slippery slope of boozing:  the “free welcome drink.” I quickly learned that I could blend in with a group of eleven Swedish girls as long as I didn’t speak, which would then lead to everyone quickly (and most apologetically) switch to English. I also learned that the cheap beer of choice in the Philippines, Red Horse, is a whopping 6.9% alcohol. This would be a crucial lesson for the thirty days I had ahead of me…

Day 2

Assuming the next day would be scrapped due to aforementioned Red Horse consumption, I sprawled out on a beach chair for the foreseeable future. But nope, some genius soon announced that the hostel cruise was going on that day and rallied everyone around to join. Mild headache still throbbing, I reluctantly signed my name to the list of other crazies.

For a few pesos, we hopped on a boat which would take us several places around the tiny island to cliff jump, snorkel, and lounge at another highly rated beach for the afternoon. Oh, and the cruise began with a rather official stop at the mini-mart to buy any drinks we’d like to bring with us on the boat – a.k.a. a bunch of San Miguel Lights and a Red Horse for later on (no, I do not learn my lessons the easy way). It was a really great time full of bonding with total strangers turned new best friends.

The boat brought us back to our little place on White Beach just in time for sunset, and we all joined up to push through and make our way out that night. Well, if by “out” you mean minimart beers and pow wows of boozy chatting in the sand. The difficulty of transitioning between day drinking and night drinking is real and Boracay truly pushed my limits in this arena.

Day 3

The next day found everyone at the hostel beachside and passed out lying in the sun, throwing the (American) football, and swimming in (and questioning) the fluorescent green algae that plagues Boracay during certain seasons. Pretty much all best friends by this point, we made the mile walk down the beach to Spider House to watch the sunset and eat some very authentic Filipino cuisine – sushi and pizza (yes, I jest). The sunset was just okay, but the camaraderie was fantastic.

That night we all began again at the hostel, before heading out/dragging me bitching and moaning the whole way to a club on the beach (Exit Bar, maybe?). And okay, it wasn’t so bad! They just played remixes of pop music with actual words, so I really enjoyed myself.

Day 4

Everyone followed this up with another recovery day on the beach (you see this pattern emerging?). Somehow being hungover doesn’t seem so bad when you’re lying on powdery white sand and swimming in warm clear water all afternoon. Oh, and the “buy one, get one” happy hour deals don’t hurt either. So I pushed country music tunes on everyone, and we all gathered for beers and sunsets in the days to come… and it really didn’t ever get old, though it did probably take a few months off my life.

Pasta Night

Two nights a week at Frendz are “Pasta Nights” and also one of the biggest draws of staying here. People who had been staying at the hostel for a few days spoke of them in all-knowing, reverent tones that boded well for the nights of partying that followed. I’m not usually a big fan of all the hype behind events like this, but I became a believer fast.

A plate of mediocre, free pasta – they call it bolognese, I call it possibly spaghetti noodles with ketchup – started off the evening innocently enough. It felt like a cafeteria school lunch among old friends. This was followed by plates clearing, booze flowing, and a super cheesy local singer playing some live jams about the Philippines. But they were the call-and-response type of songs that really get ya going and they were catchy as hell. It felt like we were in a Disney movie, except for the dancing on tables and all that…

All this had been preceded with some rowdy sunlight hours of Red Horse drinking – and oh, SO many jokes about “getting back on the horse.” And we followed up Pasta Night up with more time on the sandy strip of White Beach. I learned about the magical, life-prolonging powers of Joss Energy Powder (and how it becomes even more magical when it turns into a Joss Shot – the powder followed by a shot of vodka).

Favorite parts of the evening include a Filipino guy doing card tricks for us as we walked to the bars (no really, he was amazing and I would tip him all my pesos all over again if I could), and a big game of beer pong on the beach in which the loser (not my team) paid for all the beers.*

Day 5/6/7?

This many nights of going out resulted in a follow-up night of Netflix in bed for Rachel. Yes, I had to skip the pub crawl so I cannot report on it or the terrible yellow tank tops that you get for participating. I cannot, in fact, do it all.

I also can’t report on many other activities available on the island. Hell, I didn’t even walk across the street to the nearby Bulabog Beach that runs parallel to White Beach. I didn’t dive. And other than the booze cruise, I didn’t attempt to get on one of the many, many available sailboats or snorkeling trips. I basically lounged in the sun, drank, swam, and hung out hard with my new pals.

And I have no regrets. It was the best time.

*Order of these events and the nights on which they happened could be totally wrong.

Anybody else just SUCH a fan of Boracay?

Where I Stayed: If I could give you one piece of advice for having fun in Boracay, it would be to stay at Frendz Resort. (I’m not sure why it’s called a “resort” as it’s totally a hostel.) The fan rooms aren’t the best (though you could not be a cheapskate like me and pay a few dollars more for AC), but they are in cute little bungalows. You are absolutely guaranteed to have a great time and meet tons of people. You must attend at least one Pasta Night. Hanging out in the bar area will automatically provide you with new friends. (Thus the name, I guess!)

Where I Ate: The hostel’s food is not great – just don’t do it. For a cheap breakfast, I ventured down the beach to Real Coffee & Tea Cafe. A California native owns it and the pancakes are huge. I tried Army Navy about three times in an attempt to get the Mexican food that I’d been missing (or maybe just a meal reminiscent of Chipotle, but don’t get your hopes up) and also a burger and fries. I ventured to two other Mexican places (don’t judge me – also, why are they so plentiful there?) that I can’t recommend – one on the beach by the hostel and one at D’Mall. I had a huge grilled cheese with mango chutney at The Sunny Side Cafe, which also serves a ton of delicious-looking brunch food though it’s a bit pricier. A big standout was Smoke, a restaurant in D’Mall with freshly-cooked Filipino food, as in mostly meat and rice, but amazing meat and rice.